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Emma McQueen

Results

Who’s in your circle?

| Action Station, Challenges for Women, Results, Thriving Women 2020, ThrivingWomen2019

I ran a workshop on “who’s in your circle”, it was a useful workshop, it had reliable evidence behind it, and some research from the likes of Jim Collins and Janine Garner. The session was thought-provoking and challenging. We talked specifically about two things; who the participants had in their circle and who they needed in their circle. It had everyone thinking, which made me think, how many people do not think about who is in their space?

Have you heard of the saying “the five people you hang out with, you become like”? So, are you hanging out with the right people?

There are many of us, just surviving through the day, doing the juggle in one way or another; children, older parents, family, marriages, you name it. I hear the groans in the room when I ask the question – it’s another thing to “do”.

Here’s the thing though, if you don’t take the time to think about who is in your circle, there can be implications. You don’t get that promotion you want; you don’t get that new job you think you should have because your results are so good (unfortunately results alone don’t speak for themselves, but that’s another blog), your business doesn’t thrive.  

So, how do you take stock of who is in your circle to make sure it works for you? I would start this process by:

  1. Analysing your current circle;
  2. Looking at who is in your existing network;
  3. Understanding where the gaps are;
  4. Deciding on what you are prepared to give;
  5. Getting a move on

Analyse your current circle: Before you can go and start building your circle, you need to work out who you have in your circle, click here for a downloadable and some instructions.

Look at who is in your current network and make some choices about if they should stay or if they should go. In Janine’s book, she also references the 12 types of people who you do NOT want in your network (think saboteur and back-stabber), and so you will need to make some choices on the best people to have in your network for the goal you want to achieve. Do you need someone who will kick you in the butt, cheer you on, educate you about something? This will mean making some difficult choices to step back from some relationships while you lean into others.

Understand the gaps: You may have people in your circle who have always been there; you may have people who are very new to your circle. You may have only men; you may have only women. Have a deep dive at your list and work out who knows each other, who doesn’t, do you have enough? Is it a diverse mix of opinions that will help you grow?

Deciding on what you are prepared to give: Give first ALWAYS, choose how you will show up, prepare and make it mutually beneficial, this will be different for each person. I can’t stand the vague “can I pick your brain”, what I do love though is when someone reaches out and is specific about a need they have, they have thought about it and have some well-considered questions.

Get moving: sometimes it can all feel overwhelming, so you need to keep moving and make sure that you stay focused on who you need for right now.

We could call it “luck” that we have a great circle, but I can say for sure that there is no such thing as luck when cultivating this circle, it’s all about concerted effort, being clear on what you need and continuing to provide value to those around you.

I would love to hear how you go!

Content is Queen

| Action Station, Planning, Results, ThrivingWomen2019

Content is Queen – I had to learn this the hard way. Excuse my reference all through this article to the Queen of Content, Holly Cardamone from Blue51 Communications but, she rocks, and credit where credit is due my friends.

I got told “build a list, it will be great”; “write a newsletter, it will be fab”; “post content on social media, it will help “, and all along I was thinking to myself, I have nothing to say, but that was just my small insignificant voice scaring me to do nothing. I hate that voice with a passion, and so whenever it speaks, I do the opposite just to prove it wrong!

I went to a couple of those content days where you are supposed to come out with a fan dangled new way of writing content. I came out thoroughly confused and paralysed by how much work may have been ahead of me. So, I did the next best thing, had a strong coffee and dialled Holly. CHANGED. MY. LIFE. I kid you not.

Jess and I sat down with Holly for three hours on a sunny afternoon toward the end of 2018. I ate the gorgeous food that Holly presented while waffling on about the work that I do, the people I help etc etc. Meanwhile, Holly and Jess were madly taking notes on post-it notes. I wrote two words that day, and that was it.

It’s not that I didn’t take it seriously, it was just that I had SOOO much to say, and I didn’t even bluddy know it. Holly, apparently knew it and so at the end of the three hours, we had a content plan for the year 2019, we had some content pillars (which are basically like themes that you talk about each time you write) and we had a way to use the blogs I was writing in a way that was effective and efficient. MIND BLOWN.

I won’t lie, it’s still a lot of work, but now, now we have a plan and we just stick with it. This bit is my speciality. A quick story: I promised myself that I would log into my fitness pal for a whole year, yup, 365 days of registering food and exercise. By about day 200, I was done, but I had committed to the full 365 days, and so, at day 366, I turned that sucker off and felt enormous relief. Why didn’t I just quit? It’s just not my style. When I commit, I commit. When I say I am going to do something, damn it, I move heaven and earth to get it done. I am, if nothing else, consistent.

So, we started 2019 with a bang! We got in there, Jess made up a beautiful schedule for me, that we still use, and we post consistently. Like everyone out there, it takes time. I was having a coaching session with a client the other day, and she said this “Emma, I have to commend you on your consistency to post and send out your newsletter each week, I love what you write, and I love that you are so disciplined”. I was wrapped. Yes, I can see how many “opens” we get (our average is currently 50%), but what I can’t see is the impact that the words have on people unless they tell me.

Here’s what I have learnt along the way, there are still learnings to come:

Work with a professional  Work with an expert. Working with Holly was a game changer for us. She knows her stuff, speaks our language and provides enormous value to us throughout the year, not just in that three-hour time slot.

Have a plan
You gotta have a plan! Look, I am all for winging it as Emma Isaacs would say, but a man without a plan, is, well, a man. Having said this, be flexible enough with the plan to shift. If some events happen and you feel compelled to write about them, do that. Plan and then be flexible.

Be smart
Be smart about what you use. Write once; use over and over again. This is not a new phenomenon, but sometimes we forget that the article we wrote on self-care a few years ago, is still so relevant to our crew that we can pull it out, dust it off and tweak it and use it. This also means, write the article, and then dissect it for use elsewhere- use it in your Instagram, Facebook, stories and linked in.


Keep it real
You gotta keep it real. I heard this saying that goes something like “people hear your content, but they sniff your intent”. You know when you meet someone, and you listen to what they are saying, but you know it’s BS and it feels like there is an ulterior motive? Yeah, don’t do that.

Provide value
If you ain’t gonna provide value, don’t do it. It’s not that hard. If you really don’t know what you are going to say, how you want to serve others, get some professional help (as in an excellent copywriter, not psych help – although, if you need psych help, do that as well)

So… if you are wondering how to get your message out, how to provide value, what to say, how to pull it all together, when to write, how to write, then do yourself a favour and speak to Holly – The Queen of Content. Because at the end of the day, content is Queen.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic every day.

Em x

What happens when you are too nice?

| All Posts, Difficult Conversations, Leadership, Results

Since working for myself I have really struggled to put into words the things that I need when I have sought out some extra help from a third party.  I know what I need to do to get the job done but there are no mind readers out there? So, I just have to work that little bit harder to be very clear about what it is I need. 

Two of the biggest things I am guilty of when communicating with people is assuming that; they know more than they actually do; and that they can read my mind.  

How often have you been guilty of making these assumptions?  

The easiest ways to avoid confusion and provide clarity are to: 

  • Never make assumptions of people’s knowledge. Have open discussions about what it is they already know and what they need to know. 
  • Never think a person can read your mind (as great as it would be if they could). You need to ensure that you communicate clearly all the information that is needed and be direct with your requests (bearing in mind, they may need more information than you may need). 

The impact of assuming is that it ultimately leads to confusion and things not getting done correctly, if at all. 

Another key consideration is how clear you are about your requirements and expectations. I wonder how many people are unclear about their expectations? Lack of clarity around this is especially a trap for women who don’t want to upset other people. An issue many of us face is that we want to come across as “nice” all the time and we can sometimes mistake being direct as being unpleasant. 

If your desire is to be “nice” it is not at all about the message you are trying to get across, but the way you communicate it. I truly believe that you can be kind and communicate clearly in business. Here are three things that may help to ensure it works as well as it can: 

  • Work on the relationship first and foremost, and ensure both understand each other’s intention. Having said that, we all judge the actions of a person rather than the intent, so make sure your actions align to your intent 
  • Talk about what happens under stress for each of you before a stressful situation arises. Discuss how you will deal with it so that you can very clearly say “I am under a bit of stress at the moment” or, so that you can say “I can see that you are struggling right at the moment, what can I do to help” 
  • When you make a mistake, admit it, apologise, talk about it and move on 

Take time to ensure the person you are communicating with is clear and understands your expectations. Going back to the above, ensure that you do not assume their knowledge or that they can read your mind. Having these discussions in the first instance provides clarity and understanding.  

By being clear and direct we ensure that everyone is on the same page and that we are getting the things we need. 

So next time you need something, be clear with the person who you need it from around expectations and timelines. Help them out, which in turn helps you out. 

If having clear and direct conversations is something that you are struggling with, please get in touch. I offer tailored coaching programs and can help you. 

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic everyday 

Em x 

Do the Work!

| Action Station, All Posts, Leadership, Results

I have recently spoken about showing up (or the act of not showing up and what this can mean). Now I feel like the natural progression is to talk about doing the work, or GSD (Getting Shiz Done)! 

It is so easy when you are under the pump to feel overwhelmed and get bogged down in how much work there is to do, and instead of getting on with it, sitting on it and stressing about how much there is to do. This is a trap that we are all guilty of falling into, but one that that we need to recognise and get out of immediately. 

Take Bree for example. Bree is a busy working mum like most of us. She juggles kids, work, a busy household and (when she gets time) a life. It all got the better of her recently. She had just taken on a new role at work, a role that she was more than capable of, in fact it was her dream role. However, the timing of it coincided with her partner being out of town on business; the start of a new school year for her eldest; her youngest getting sick; and her kids being unusually emotional (feeding off her vibes). 

Her go-to feeling in this unusually stressful situation was that of absolute overwhelm, and it left her paralysed with no ability to get on with it. Instead of simply doing the work and taking small steps forward, she let everything go. What resulted was her boss needing to pull her aside and question if she was keeping up with the changed workload. 

Not getting shiz done can be due to many reasons. We all find ourselves in situations where we are perhaps overwhelmed, suffering mind blocks, lacking confidence – whatever it may be that is stopping us from getting on with it. At these times we need to acknowledge it and implement a strategy to ensure we can get on with it. One of the things I find helpful is taking time when I am not stressed to develop a self-care plan that I can access when I am feeling like this. Check out my bog Who’s Looking After You for tips on developing a self care plan.

Similar to not showing up, not getting shiz done can have many ongoing negative impacts; the work compounds, people notice you – for the wrong reason and you can develop a bad reputation. Check out more.

One of my core values in life is progress over perfection. This is all about not sweating the small stuff and just getting on with things. It is about not being scared of giving things a go. It is about trusting in yourself that you are capable.  Sounds simple in theory, and it is actually quite simple in practice too. 

So how do we get on with it and get shiz done? Here is my simple yet effective advice for exactly that: 

Write a list – of ONLY 3 things

I write a list of only 3 things to get done in a day. Of course, I have a longer list around, but if I get those 3 things done, I feel like I have achieved what I have needed to. If you need to, keep a longer list somewhere else.
Writing down the tasks you need to complete and prioritizing the list is so simple, yet super effective. Think of all those things that pop into your head on a daily basis, the things that you are continually putting to the back of your mind but that are also so important to complete. Write them down so you can focus on actually completing them. The bonus to this method is the absolute sense of achievement you will get from ticking items off the list once completed.  

Stop procrastinating – Do the HARDEST thing first!

I do the hardest thing on my list first and then give myself a fist pump for getting it done!  

Stop distractions and focus

Distractions are all around us and can be very hard to avoid, however you do have some control over this. Switch emails off, turn your phone onto to do not disturb, block out your calendar and request no disruptions from work colleagues for set times throughout the day. Use this time to focus on nothing else but tasks on your to do list. Eliminating these distractions and focusing will make the task at hand so much simpler. You may even find that you are completing it quicker than you thought you would. 

Seek out an accountability buddy

Sometimes not being accountable to anyone can mean we don’t do the work (this is something I see a lot of in small business owners). Find someone who you can share your goals with and check in with them at a regular frequency. Being accountable to someone other than yourself will help keep you on track. 

Revisit your goals  

If you have been with me for a while you would know that I like to set goals (yearly, monthly – sometimes even weekly).  Monitoring these goals is so important to ensuring that you are on track to reach them. If you are not getting shiz done, chances are you are not going to achieve your goals. Take time to reflect on your goals and implement those strategies that you need to, to ensure that you are on track to see results.

Implementing these strategies will help set you on the right path to getting shiz done.  Just think how good you will feel when you are ticking off the to do list and knowing that you are on top of your workload and where you need to be to move forward. Oh – and don’t forget to treat yourself when you feel like you have been super effective. This could be as simple as going for a walk or getting a coffee, just something to say, “I did good!” 

If you need some help getting shiz done, I’m your gal. I am results driven and expect results from my clients. I will keep you accountable and make sure that you are getting all the shiz you need to get done, done. Get in touch and see how we can work together.  

Who’s Looking After You?

| All Posts, Planning, Results, ThrivingWomen2019

We are well and truly back in the swing of things here, school is back, and work is ramping up. Now, hands up if the summer break didn’t go quite as planned? You know how it goes, grand plans to switch off and take time out, but you felt busier than ever and as a result are already feel burnt out! I am hearing the same from so many friends and colleagues, January was a blur of getting all the ‘things’ done with very little or no time out.

I get it, life is busy. We play the role of parent, partner, friend, employee, boss, the list goes on, how on earth are we really meant to take time out when we are juggling all of this? Well the reality is if we don’t take time out to look after ourselves, the  chances are that no one else will, and then what?

This is where self-care comes into play. Self-care sets you up to be mentally, physically, and emotionally equipped to handle the demands of life. Before you argue that you have no time or money for self-care, let me stop you: the cost of not taking care of yourself is much greater in the long run.

So, what exactly is self-care? Simply put it is self-initiated actions to stay healthy (mentally, physically and emotionally). It is listening to your mind and body and meeting its needs. Self-care will look different for everyone, but it doesn’t have to be difficult.

Headspace have put together these 10 simple self-care tips to maximise well being. These are so easy for anyone to include in their everyday life – give it a go! 

1. Regularly engage in an activity that you find relaxing. Put aside a little time every day to do something that you really enjoy, such as going for a walk, gardening, listening to music or reading. Schedule it into your daily routine so that it becomes a natural part of your life. 

2. Practice regular relaxation. Try to squeeze in some yoga or meditation before starting your day. It can be helpful to visualise a safe, peaceful space e.g. a comforting room, a beautiful beach or lovely bush setting, and spend 5-10 minutes imagining this in your mind. 

3. Maintain your friendships. Connect regularly with friends and family and undertake activities you enjoy together. 

4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you are experiencing stress or worry it can help to talk to someone about it. You may like to speak to a friend, family member, you GP or a counsellor. Ask for help when you need it and accept help when it is offered – realise that you cannot do everything. 

5. Get regular exercise. This will help to reduce stress levels and improve your health. Try to find an activity you enjoy. Exercising with others can help you to stay motivated. Aim for at least 20 minutes a day; even a 10 minute walk will benefit you. 

6. Eat a nutritious, balanced diet. This can help with energy levels and stress management. Avoid consuming too much caffeine or sugar. It may help you to feel more energised in the short term, but can have negative effects in the long term. 

7. Be kind to yourself. A positive and compassionate attitude can help you manage difficult times. Encouraging and rewarding yourself for getting through a difficult period or achieving a goal, however small, will reinforce your self-confidence. 

8. Take some quiet time out for yourself, away from your usual demands, even if this is only for 15 minutes a day. For example, going for a walk, having a bath, having a cuppa or reading the newspaper. 

9. Plan something to look forward to, a holiday, day trip or an outing with friends. 

10. Get good quality sleep. Try to go to bed and get up at the same time each day. Switch off all electronics at least an hour before going to bed so that you can wind down. If you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, try a relaxation technique or quiet activity until you feel sleepy again. 

When we focus on looking after ourselves mentally, physically and emotionally, we are ensuring that we are equipped to get the best out of ourselves. 

As the old saying goes – you can’t pour from an empty cup, so, are you looking after yourself? 

Developing a self care plan is vital to ensuring that you are continually looking after yourself. Click here for more information on how to develop a self care plan and start looking after yourself.

How’s that Goal Setting going?

| All Posts, Goals, Results

So, you have set your goals – great! But how do you go about achieving and measuring your goals?

The good news is that when you set your S.M.A.R.T. goals (which if you read last weeks blog, you will then have a yardstick against which you can measure your progress and success).

In order to achieve your goals, you need a plan. An action plan is a great way of doing this. An action plan is a set of tasks that you will undertake in order to achieve your goals. An action plan generally will work backwards from a deadline and break the goals down into a series of smaller tasks. Determine what tasks or actions need to be undertaken to achieve your goals and put these into a schedule. This can be in the form of a monthly, weekly or daily set of tasks of an overall plan.

Once you have put together an action plan you need to follow through with it. This seems pretty common sense, right? You would think so! But so many people skip this essential step and then wonder why they are not seeing results and achieving success. So, it is imperative that you complete your monthly/weekly/daily tasks within your schedule. Keep track of this and measure and evaluate how you are tracking in achieving your goal at regular intervals and be sure to tweak your action plan if you are not seeing progress.

TIP: Share your goals with an accountability buddy to keep you both on track

You will also need to think about the way you have been doing things while not achieving results. Now think about what you need to be doing differently to achieve these goals.

Back to our friend Clare from previous weeks – Clare was busy, working hard as a small business owner, unsure as to why she was not seeing any results in her business despite working so hard. We worked together and pin pointed that Clare had not set goals and as such, had no way to measure success. We worked on setting S.M.A.R.T. goals and putting together a plan to achieve these. However, this involved changing the way that Clare worked. After all – what she was doing was not seeing her achieve results and success. It is all too easy to continue to work in an ad-hoc manner, being snowed under with ‘things to do’ and doing all you can to get them done, but if it is not showing you success what is the point? Change is hard, but so important to consider if you are wanting to achieve goals.

Setting S.M.A.R.T goals, developing action plans and measuring and evaluating how you are tracking at regular intervals will guide you on the path to success!

Have you heard about the Thriving Women Program? Set to launch in February in Melbourne and Perth. Want to know more? Check out the video below..