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Emma McQueen

Challenges for Women

“I just need more time.” Or do you?

| Action Station, All Posts, Challenges for Women

What do Jacinda Ardern, Greta Thunberg and Beyoncé all have in common? No, it’s not fame or headlines. They each have 86,400 seconds in a day to make it count!

And so do you.

“I wish there were more hours in the day…”

We’ve all said this. I know I’ve mumbled it! How many times have you heard others say it?

In our society, we constantly hear references to time running out, lack of time, having no time, we’ve got too much to do and not enough time, if only there were more hours in the day… I’m guilty of saying these things, as well.

It reminds me of the great quote from Margaret Atwood in her book, The Handmaid’s Tale:

“But that’s where I am. There’s no escaping it. Time’s a trap, I’m caught in it.”

Can you relate? When we feel caught in this trap called time, we feel crappy. It steals our happiness. And we wish we had more time so we could get everything done.

We’re “time poor”

One of my clients, Layla, never seemed to have enough time. She was a classic example of what we consider “time poor”: always busy, always working, with little time for herself.

Layla was not alone. As a female leadership coach, one of the things I commonly hear from women, especially those juggling a business and family, is that there’s just not enough time.


But is that true?

Do we really not have enough time? Or is it that we don’t use our time effectively? Do we focus on the wrong things at the wrong times?


According to Forbes, time is our most valuable commodity. Research shows that “time stress” is linked with reduced wellbeing, decreased happiness and increased levels of anxiety and insomnia.

So, the question is, how do we value our time? Just how precious is it to us? And what’s a smart way to use it?

The fact is, there is no more time

Imagine, if you will, an hourglass. It holds 24 hours. We all have the same sized hourglass, so everything we do must fit inside it.


This presents you with a wonderful opportunity! How you spend your 24 hours is entirely your choice! Your 24 hours is time for you to nourish yourself. It’s time to sleep well and be fit for each day. It’s time to spend with the people closest to you. It’s time to do the work you love and make the difference you were born to make.

The key is to know your priorities

The most successful women in business and leadership ruthlessly prioritise. They know how to balance the important and the urgent. And when they don’t, they have someone in their corner to gently – and sometimes loudly! – keep them on track.


You see, using your time well has nothing to do with how much of it you have. It’s about the choices you make and how you prioritise.

“Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life.”

– Norton Juster

Urgent vs non-urgent

Our progress with an important task is easily derailed by the “urgent” – things that require our IMMEDIATE attention. These things are usually not important, yet they steal our attention away from what we should be doing at that moment.

The urgent shouts, “NOW! I need your attention NOW!” It puts us in reactive mode, which is really unhelpful.

Important tasks, on the other hand, contribute to our long-term mission. They bring our purpose, values and goals to life. Sometimes, important tasks are urgent, but typically they’re not.


The Eisenhower Matrix is a useful tool that can help you prioritise tasks by urgency. It identifies:

  • The urgent and important
  • The less urgent and important
  • The urgent and less important
  • The less urgent and less important

Prioritising tasks this way means you can decide what you should:

  • Do first
  • Schedule
  • Delegate
  • Don’t do

Let’s go back to Layla…

Layla continued to show up to our coaching sessions, telling me she couldn’t get all her tasks done because she didn’t have enough time. So, I asked her to make a list of all the tasks she was doing. We then identified the tasks that were urgent but not important, and the things that were important but not urgent.

What we discovered was that Layla really enjoyed networking and building relationships. This was great from a business development perspective, but it meant a lot of her important work was not getting done. Because it wasn’t in her diary, it didn’t take precedence.

So, we worked on Layla’s calendar. We scheduled time for the important things, so they didn’t become urgent things, and we scheduled time for the less-important (but enjoyable) things, such as Layla’s networking events.

One important task Layla struggled with was writing content. She procrastinated on it so much that I issued her a challenge. She was not allowed to attend her coveted networking events for a week if she hadn’t written her content!

What do you think happened? That’s right, she did not like the thought of no networking, so she got onto her content immediately! Suddenly, there was time to write. There was also time to get her calendar sorted, time for all the things she did not think were possible. And there was time for her networking events!

Was it easy? No! Nothing worth it is. Did having a plan make Layla happier? You betcha!  

By becoming clear on her non-negotiable tasks, Layla could plan, prioritise and value her time, and she was loving life again.

I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.

Em x

Working from home can suck

| All Posts, Challenges for Women

Working from home can suck

So many women are building fantastic businesses. They often keep overheads low by working from home, but what happens when working from home isn’t taken seriously?

Let me explain …

One of my clients rang me, feeling extremely frustrated. She worked from home, and because of this, her friends thought she was available to them all day. She had to deal with all kinds of interruptions – phone calls, visits, texts. Meanwhile, her working time was already extremely limited.

When I asked her how many people she was talking about, she said she received at least two visitors a day! Can you imagine? When you have children at school, the only time you can work is during school hours. Having a couple of visitors drop in each day meant there were days when my client was getting nothing done.

“Take me seriously!”

Previously, my gorgeous client saw her business as a hobby. A visitor here and there was okay, but one year later, she had transformed her “hobby” into a profit-making centre. She had changed, but her friends thought it was “hobby as usual”. Throw in the fact she genuinely wanted to help her friends and didn’t like saying no to them – it was a recipe for disaster.

In fact, my client’s situation had become so bad, she drew her blinds during the day so no one would think she was home. I don’t know about you, but that would make me feel like a prisoner in my own home! At least it was a start to tackling the problem, I thought.

Plan of attack

Things couldn’t continue this way, so we came up with a plan. Here’s what it looked like:

  • We did some work on her mindset, so she would feel okay about putting her business first after years of focusing on others.
  • We brainstormed options that would work for her personality and business.
  • We agreed she would let her visitors know she needed to be more vigilant with her time as her business was getting bigger.
  • She scheduled time in her diary so her visitors could still see her, but when it suited her and her business.
  • She also talked to her family about the changes she was making, so they could have her back when necessary. This also signalled to her family that her business was now a serious one.

Two months later, I am happy to report this strategy worked – mostly! It didn’t work when my client accepted visitors outside her scheduled times. She quickly discovered that when you loosen boundaries once, it’s hard to force them back into place.

What about you? Do you have people “drop in” because you happen to work from home? How does this affect your business and wellbeing?

Perhaps it’s time to set some boundaries of your own.

There is more out there

| All Posts, Challenges for Women

Do you want more? Do you find yourself thinking you want to have more, do more, be more?

“I want more energy. I want more confidence. I want more financial freedom.”

How often do we say these things to ourselves?! As a female leadership coach, I hear it from my clients all the time. The good news is, you can have more. Now is the time!

The problem is, when we tell ourselves we want more, we usually follow it up with something like, “But it’s impossible. What I have now is all I can hope for.”

How wrong this is!

If there was nothing more to have, how boring the world would be! There is more out there for you, but you need to go out and get it.

To get more, you need to tap into a different mindset. As I talked about in my previous blog post, I should be happy with what I have this blog post, so often, we revert to a mindset that tells us, “It’s too hard. I should be happy with what I have.”

No, you shouldn’t be happy with what you have! It’s time to silence that inner critic. You should never feel guilty for wanting greater happiness and success in your life!

So, instead of adopting a mindset that points out all the reasons why you can’t have more, you need to create a mindset that focuses on the reasons why you can have more – and how.

So, how do you get more?

To get more, we need to challenge the status quo. We need to look for new and better ways of doing things in our businesses and personal lives.

This is not easy to do. It involves a level of uncertainty, and it can even make us feel unhappy in the short-term. But in the long-term, the result is greater happiness, because we’ve uncovered new possibilities and have gained better insight into what makes us happy and unhappy.

To get more can take a leap of faith. It’s helpful if we have a tribe that has our backs. And the more we take that leap of faith, the easier it becomes, and the more our confidence grows.

Is it possible to have it all?

I think it’s possible to have it all, just not all at once.

In her article, “Women CAN Have It All — Just Not All At The Same Time,” Lisa Quast talks about feeling frustrated while trying to balance her job and family life. I’m sure many of you can relate to this.

It’s hard. Juggling a family and career at the same time takes so much time and energy. Women are still the main caregivers, they are paid less than men, they do more housework than men … All this certainly eats into our ability to strive for more.

So, perhaps it’s not a simple question of, “Can we have it all?”

Perhaps it’s more a question of, “How can I manage my expectations so I can have it all – at different stages of my life?”

So, what are you waiting for? Go out and get it!

I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.

Em x

“I should be happy with what I have.”

| Challenges for Women, Mindset Tips

Haven’t we all said this to ourselves before?

When we’re feeling unhappy, we often tell ourselves we should be happy – usually sternly, impatiently. Our inner voice says, “Stop complaining! Be grateful for what you have.”

We try to believe ourselves into happiness. Sometimes, it’s almost like we try to force our attitudes and emotions to change, and we criticise ourselves if we’re not in a constant state of positivity.

I wonder whether it’s the way we have been brought up. As Australians, we’re often told we live in the “lucky country”, so there’s the perception we shouldn’t dare complain.

And, as women, it’s beaten into us that we should be grateful for being able to have a family and work professionally and do the things we want to do personally.


But this is gratitude gone wrong

It’s true that gratitude is important. Being thankful and appreciative is a wonderful feeling. But it’s almost like we’ve been brainwashed into thinking we should be happy, regardless of what’s happening in our lives.

Is that right? Should we always be happy with what we have?

The downside to always being happy

I worry that if we try to constantly “be happy with what we have,” we stop striving to reach bigger goals. We stagnate in our lives and our businesses. We stay in our comfort zone, perhaps even in our discomfort zone, and deny ourselves greater happiness.  

Now, I’m not necessarily talking about striving for more money or trying to climb the corporate ladder, although these things can be helpful. I’m talking about striving to continue to learn and explore new avenues and opportunities so that we can grow as human beings.


Why is it so hard to be happy?

In his article, “12 Reasons You’re Not As Happy As You Should Be,” Travis Bradberry says happiness is “synthetic” – either you create happiness, or you don’t. Lasting happiness, he argues, is the result of carefully honed habits practised day in, day out.

Among the top reasons why we are not happy are:

  • Hanging around negative people.
  • Comparing our lives to what we see on social media.
  • Isolating ourselves.
  • Neglecting to set goals.
  • Giving in to fear.

This is great news! It means we do have some control over our happiness. By avoiding the above behaviours, we position ourselves for a more positive mindset and engage in more helpful habits that will make us happy, build confidence and improve self-esteem.

But it’s also important we are kind to ourselves. S*** happens, and sometimes there’s nothing we can do about it. When things go awry, allow yourself to feel negative, give yourself some space to complain, but then dust yourself off and move on.

You deserve to be happy!

I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.

Em x

Turn your mind around

| Challenges for Women, Mindset Tips

Have you ever had one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? I know I have!

We tell ourselves we’re stupid, we shouldn’t have done that, it’s all our fault. Would you ever talk to anyone else that way? I doubt it. So why do we talk so negatively to ourselves?

We all have that inner critic

No matter how successful we are, we all have those days when that cynical voice enters our brain and we can’t get it out. Our inner critic goes bananas!

We all want to succeed, and when things don’t go according to plan, we often take it to heart. We blamed ourselves, even if what went wrong was completely out of our control.

Break the cycle and reset

Managing your mind is like stopping a chirping cricket or a mad monkey. You have to get on top of it before it drives you insane!

When you start to hear that negative voice, catch it and inspect it. Is what it’s saying objectively true? Probably not. Is it useful to you? No!

By taking a step back and looking critically at that negative voice, you give yourself the chance to reframe it. Turn it into a positive. Break the cycle, reset, and move forward.

When things go wrong

So, if you’re having a bad day, instead of berating yourself and letting that monkey take centre stage, follow these steps:

  • Take a moment to stop and think objectively about what’s actually happening.
  • Take a physical break from whatever you are doing – get up and move around, grab a coffee, or even listen to some music.
  • Focus on something else to get that monkey chatter to stop.
  • Question that monkey – where is the hard evidence that what it’s saying is true?
  • Remind yourself you’re working hard, you’re doing the right things – sometimes, bad things happen. Simple as that.

So, let that monkey know who’s boss. Get it off your shoulder, continue with the rest of your day and be kind to yourself!

I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.

Em x

Is it a bad day or are you burnt out?

| Challenges for Women, Mindset Tips

Sonia had been allocated to me as part of a leadership development program she was on. She worked for a large organisation. On our first session, she cried. She was burnt out. I felt for Sonia. We used the meeting to prepare her for a conversation with her boss about her need to take a little time off. This included talking about finding her some additional support and her going to the Doctor. It wasn’t what I expected the meeting to be like, and that’s the beauty of being the coach, people bring their whole selves, and we work through whatever issue they are having.

It wasn’t just a bad day in the office

The more we delved into it, we realised that this situation wasn’t just a bad day in the office, but an ongoing political dynamic was playing out; not being heard; working too many hours; not being able to switch off; managing anxiety; family and the list went on. In the end, it was too much to handle; the warning signs were there; something needed to change dramatically.

Burnout is real and is affecting many

The World Health Organisation (WHO) has recently said this “Burnout is a syndrome conceptualised as resulting from chronic workplace stress. Three dimensions characterise it: feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion; increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and reduced professional efficacy”. 21% of brave Australian employees report they have taken time off work due to feeling mentally unwell, and I suspect there are many many more who don’t report this and take a “doona day” to recover and get a little respite.

Sonia’s conversation with her boss went well, she had asked for a few days, but he insisted on a two-week break, with a check-in point to see how she was feeling. We mapped out her leave. 

Here’s what we agreed to do:

Switch the work mobile off

Sonia felt like she was “on” even when she wasn’t. When she started in the organisation as a consultant, she was virtually on call, so when she switched to an employee, the boundaries didn’t get reset, and she found she was still “on.”

Set the out of office on

Being clear with people about your whereabouts (especially if it’s unexpected) and giving them an alternative contact, means peace of mind for all.

Leave the laptop in the home office, in its bag

Leave her laptop in the home office, in its bag. Previously Sonia would get home and sort the family out and then jump back on the laptop (see the first point), so we had to do something physical to help her out, in this case, it was not unpacking the laptop.

Go to the Doctor

Sonia knew that she needed extra support, so she went and got a mental health plan and found a psychologist through a friend’s recommendation.

Book some sessions for extra support

Many coaches are not qualified Psychologists, and in a situation like this, it’s essential to surround yourself with the “right” professionals. Surrounding yourself with the right people is the best decision you can make.

Practice some self-care

This means different things for everyone. Sonia found that hitting some golf balls at the local driving range allowed the chatter in her brain to calm.

The result

I caught up with Sonia on her first week back at work. She felt happy, but more importantly, realised that she was not in a great place personally before her leave and didn’t want to go back to her role or the environment. Her circumstances were such that she and her husband agreed that she could leave the business.

It doesn’t always end this way; many people take a break and feel refreshed and ready to go. The beauty of stepping out of the business for some time means that you can assess where you are at and make some healthy choices because you are no longer in that place.

The ideal scenario is to recognise this before you reach breaking point, but that can be hard to do in the middle of it, can’t it?