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Emma McQueen

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Rollover, NOT refund!

| Action Station, All Posts

I, like many of you, have been impacted by the not-so-friendly virus that is COVID-19.

I have been working with clients to help them pivot (ever seen that Friends episode where Ross tries to squeeze the mattress around the corner? Do yourself a favour and watch it!), pull things online, and work out what clients and customers need in this time.

There is so much negative news, people cannot stop talking about coronavirus, and we are living in fear (with not-so-clear direction from Scotty, I might add).

It’s times like these we need to face outwards and work out what service looks like for you and your business. Who can you serve at this time? What value can you add to current clients without the icky sell?

As you know, a lot of the work I do is face to face: Lunch with the Queen, Thriving Women workshops, and coaching. The whole kit and kaboodle. We have now moved most things online.

I recently had an interesting conversation with Bel Temby from Digital Services Lab, and we spoke about the idea of offering a rollover rather than a refund. What does that mean? Well, we are all small businesses, so let me tell you what I did for Lunch with the Queen.

Scheduled for April 23rd, our sold-out Lunch with the Queen now can’t go ahead, as restaurants are all closed due to COVID-19. So, I rang everyone (yes, I actually picked up the phone!) and offered them a rollover to a yet-to-be-determined date OR a refund and a Zoom call with all 16 guests, who could BYO lunch.

The result? Some fantastic conversations with awesome women, some of whom I am yet to meet, who profusely thanked me for picking up the phone to check in and explain the situation. Almost everyone chose the rollover and everyone is still meeting on Zoom because they want to connect, especially now!

People want to help. They want the chance to support others in business. I also want to continue to serve, and this seemed like the right choice for right now.

What about you? Do you need to offer your clients a rollover?

Feel free to get in touch with me here

I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.

“I just need more time.” Or do you?

| Action Station, All Posts, Challenges for Women

What do Jacinda Ardern, Greta Thunberg and Beyoncé all have in common? No, it’s not fame or headlines. They each have 86,400 seconds in a day to make it count!

And so do you.

“I wish there were more hours in the day…”

We’ve all said this. I know I’ve mumbled it! How many times have you heard others say it?

In our society, we constantly hear references to time running out, lack of time, having no time, we’ve got too much to do and not enough time, if only there were more hours in the day… I’m guilty of saying these things, as well.

It reminds me of the great quote from Margaret Atwood in her book, The Handmaid’s Tale:

“But that’s where I am. There’s no escaping it. Time’s a trap, I’m caught in it.”

Can you relate? When we feel caught in this trap called time, we feel crappy. It steals our happiness. And we wish we had more time so we could get everything done.

We’re “time poor”

One of my clients, Layla, never seemed to have enough time. She was a classic example of what we consider “time poor”: always busy, always working, with little time for herself.

Layla was not alone. As a female leadership coach, one of the things I commonly hear from women, especially those juggling a business and family, is that there’s just not enough time.


But is that true?

Do we really not have enough time? Or is it that we don’t use our time effectively? Do we focus on the wrong things at the wrong times?


According to Forbes, time is our most valuable commodity. Research shows that “time stress” is linked with reduced wellbeing, decreased happiness and increased levels of anxiety and insomnia.

So, the question is, how do we value our time? Just how precious is it to us? And what’s a smart way to use it?

The fact is, there is no more time

Imagine, if you will, an hourglass. It holds 24 hours. We all have the same sized hourglass, so everything we do must fit inside it.


This presents you with a wonderful opportunity! How you spend your 24 hours is entirely your choice! Your 24 hours is time for you to nourish yourself. It’s time to sleep well and be fit for each day. It’s time to spend with the people closest to you. It’s time to do the work you love and make the difference you were born to make.

The key is to know your priorities

The most successful women in business and leadership ruthlessly prioritise. They know how to balance the important and the urgent. And when they don’t, they have someone in their corner to gently – and sometimes loudly! – keep them on track.


You see, using your time well has nothing to do with how much of it you have. It’s about the choices you make and how you prioritise.

“Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life.”

– Norton Juster

Urgent vs non-urgent

Our progress with an important task is easily derailed by the “urgent” – things that require our IMMEDIATE attention. These things are usually not important, yet they steal our attention away from what we should be doing at that moment.

The urgent shouts, “NOW! I need your attention NOW!” It puts us in reactive mode, which is really unhelpful.

Important tasks, on the other hand, contribute to our long-term mission. They bring our purpose, values and goals to life. Sometimes, important tasks are urgent, but typically they’re not.


The Eisenhower Matrix is a useful tool that can help you prioritise tasks by urgency. It identifies:

  • The urgent and important
  • The less urgent and important
  • The urgent and less important
  • The less urgent and less important

Prioritising tasks this way means you can decide what you should:

  • Do first
  • Schedule
  • Delegate
  • Don’t do

Let’s go back to Layla…

Layla continued to show up to our coaching sessions, telling me she couldn’t get all her tasks done because she didn’t have enough time. So, I asked her to make a list of all the tasks she was doing. We then identified the tasks that were urgent but not important, and the things that were important but not urgent.

What we discovered was that Layla really enjoyed networking and building relationships. This was great from a business development perspective, but it meant a lot of her important work was not getting done. Because it wasn’t in her diary, it didn’t take precedence.

So, we worked on Layla’s calendar. We scheduled time for the important things, so they didn’t become urgent things, and we scheduled time for the less-important (but enjoyable) things, such as Layla’s networking events.

One important task Layla struggled with was writing content. She procrastinated on it so much that I issued her a challenge. She was not allowed to attend her coveted networking events for a week if she hadn’t written her content!

What do you think happened? That’s right, she did not like the thought of no networking, so she got onto her content immediately! Suddenly, there was time to write. There was also time to get her calendar sorted, time for all the things she did not think were possible. And there was time for her networking events!

Was it easy? No! Nothing worth it is. Did having a plan make Layla happier? You betcha!  

By becoming clear on her non-negotiable tasks, Layla could plan, prioritise and value her time, and she was loving life again.

I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.

Em x

Working from home can suck

| All Posts, Challenges for Women

Working from home can suck

So many women are building fantastic businesses. They often keep overheads low by working from home, but what happens when working from home isn’t taken seriously?

Let me explain …

One of my clients rang me, feeling extremely frustrated. She worked from home, and because of this, her friends thought she was available to them all day. She had to deal with all kinds of interruptions – phone calls, visits, texts. Meanwhile, her working time was already extremely limited.

When I asked her how many people she was talking about, she said she received at least two visitors a day! Can you imagine? When you have children at school, the only time you can work is during school hours. Having a couple of visitors drop in each day meant there were days when my client was getting nothing done.

“Take me seriously!”

Previously, my gorgeous client saw her business as a hobby. A visitor here and there was okay, but one year later, she had transformed her “hobby” into a profit-making centre. She had changed, but her friends thought it was “hobby as usual”. Throw in the fact she genuinely wanted to help her friends and didn’t like saying no to them – it was a recipe for disaster.

In fact, my client’s situation had become so bad, she drew her blinds during the day so no one would think she was home. I don’t know about you, but that would make me feel like a prisoner in my own home! At least it was a start to tackling the problem, I thought.

Plan of attack

Things couldn’t continue this way, so we came up with a plan. Here’s what it looked like:

  • We did some work on her mindset, so she would feel okay about putting her business first after years of focusing on others.
  • We brainstormed options that would work for her personality and business.
  • We agreed she would let her visitors know she needed to be more vigilant with her time as her business was getting bigger.
  • She scheduled time in her diary so her visitors could still see her, but when it suited her and her business.
  • She also talked to her family about the changes she was making, so they could have her back when necessary. This also signalled to her family that her business was now a serious one.

Two months later, I am happy to report this strategy worked – mostly! It didn’t work when my client accepted visitors outside her scheduled times. She quickly discovered that when you loosen boundaries once, it’s hard to force them back into place.

What about you? Do you have people “drop in” because you happen to work from home? How does this affect your business and wellbeing?

Perhaps it’s time to set some boundaries of your own.

There is more out there

| All Posts, Challenges for Women

Do you want more? Do you find yourself thinking you want to have more, do more, be more?

“I want more energy. I want more confidence. I want more financial freedom.”

How often do we say these things to ourselves?! As a female leadership coach, I hear it from my clients all the time. The good news is, you can have more. Now is the time!

The problem is, when we tell ourselves we want more, we usually follow it up with something like, “But it’s impossible. What I have now is all I can hope for.”

How wrong this is!

If there was nothing more to have, how boring the world would be! There is more out there for you, but you need to go out and get it.

To get more, you need to tap into a different mindset. As I talked about in my previous blog post, I should be happy with what I have this blog post, so often, we revert to a mindset that tells us, “It’s too hard. I should be happy with what I have.”

No, you shouldn’t be happy with what you have! It’s time to silence that inner critic. You should never feel guilty for wanting greater happiness and success in your life!

So, instead of adopting a mindset that points out all the reasons why you can’t have more, you need to create a mindset that focuses on the reasons why you can have more – and how.

So, how do you get more?

To get more, we need to challenge the status quo. We need to look for new and better ways of doing things in our businesses and personal lives.

This is not easy to do. It involves a level of uncertainty, and it can even make us feel unhappy in the short-term. But in the long-term, the result is greater happiness, because we’ve uncovered new possibilities and have gained better insight into what makes us happy and unhappy.

To get more can take a leap of faith. It’s helpful if we have a tribe that has our backs. And the more we take that leap of faith, the easier it becomes, and the more our confidence grows.

Is it possible to have it all?

I think it’s possible to have it all, just not all at once.

In her article, “Women CAN Have It All — Just Not All At The Same Time,” Lisa Quast talks about feeling frustrated while trying to balance her job and family life. I’m sure many of you can relate to this.

It’s hard. Juggling a family and career at the same time takes so much time and energy. Women are still the main caregivers, they are paid less than men, they do more housework than men … All this certainly eats into our ability to strive for more.

So, perhaps it’s not a simple question of, “Can we have it all?”

Perhaps it’s more a question of, “How can I manage my expectations so I can have it all – at different stages of my life?”

So, what are you waiting for? Go out and get it!

I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.

Em x

Manners Maketh the Gram

| All Posts

Instagram Etiquette 101: Tips for Business Owners

Guest Post by Kryshla Salaris, Instagram Coach and Founder of Shall We Social

Aaaah Instagram, the happiest place on the internet. There is so much to love about ‘the gram’ and love it we most certainly do; 1 billion monthly active users sharing 95 million posts per day can’t be wrong!  From a business standpoint the ability to reach, grow and engage with an audience of potential customers or clients (for free!) makes Instagram one of the most powerful marketing tools of the 21st century.

However, with so many users and very little by way of explicit rules or guidance from Instagram itself, there is a dark side to the platform that is mildly irritating at best and absolutely heartbreaking at worst for some users.

In preparation for this post, I engaged a number of fellow online business owners to ask them about their experiences with Instagram; what they enjoy most about the platform and the online behaviours that they are less enamoured of.  Below is a general consensus about that’s hot and what’s not when it comes to Instagram etiquette.

What’s Hot? Our #favouritethings about Instagram

Getting engaged

The number 1 reason we favour Instagram like the child who sleeps through the night is engagement. Instagram is one of the most highly-engaged social media platforms. According to Brandwatch.com engagement on Instagram is 10 times higher than on Facebook. As social creatures we get a big ol’ dose of dopamine whenever someone double taps or comments on our content.

Engagement – including responding to comments, replying to DMs and actively seeking out other users to be social with – really is the secret sauce to Instagram success. It provides a quick and effective way to build relationships and gain trust. Accounts who take the time to engage get the goods – both in terms of followers and brand loyalty.

Creating value, not more noise 

The Instagram feed is a crowded place. Post captions with nothing more to offer than “Monday… blah blah… coffee … blah blah blah” are, frankly, a waste of everyone’s time. Accounts that deliver value by entertaining, educating or engaging their followers will enjoy greater post performance and a loyal following.

Showing your face

People buy from people. And who do we buy from? People we trust! The fastest way to earn trust is to show yourself. We love seeing the person(s) behind the brand so invest in a professional photography shoot and get your smiling face, and that of your team, on the feed already! Can’t afford a branding shoot? Many photographers offer smaller headshot packages where you can get a handful stellar shots that will give you something to get started with.

Just quietly, it costs nothing to show your face on video. If you have a smartphone you can create Instagram Stories, IGTV videos or go Live in an instant; providing your audience with valuable content and the opportunity to get to know you. Even if sleepless nights have you looking like Quasimodo in the bell tower, pop on a filter, show up and serve your audience. Your followers will benefit much more from you sharing your wisdom than if you choose to hide in the shadows. Video is also fantastic for your overall Instagram account performance. Bonus!

Instagram BFFs

Instagram is the perfect place to meet and develop friendships with like-minded peeps who are on a similar business journey. Help out fellow biz owners by commenting on their posts and give them a friendly shout out in your feed posts and on Stories. Share the love! #CommunityOverCompetition

Collaborating with other brands in a professional manner

Spoiler alert: Business owners don’t want to bankroll your holiday. Even if you are an “influencer” and even if you can take great photos of their product while in Bali wearing nothing but your bikini 🍑  Making a play for free merch is simply bad manners and business owners are tried of this kind of behaviour.  If you want to collaborate with another business or brand, do your homework first; find out the best person to talk to about your ideas and approach them in a professional manner (try emailing rather than sending a DM). Put together a proposal that explains how your brands and audiences align and outlines the benefits of a collaboration for both parties. Above all, make sure you’re at least following the account before you ask for something! 

Using and engaging with hashtags relevant to your niche 

The days of peppering your posts with mega large hashtags are gone. Niching is the new black. Incorporate tailored, community or interest-based hashtags into your posts (and Stories) to connect with like-minded users around a specific topic, ritual or location and increase your visibility to your ideal customer or client.

Captions on videos

Some people have noisy kids. Others are sneaking in a quick Insta Stories binge at work, on public transport or in bed and some of your audience may be hearing impaired. Make it easy for people to consume and engage with your content by using captions or subtitles on videos. There are a number of apps and tools to help you do this in a flash including Clipomatic, Clips and Kapwing.

Readability

There’s nothing hotter than a well-placed apostrophe and don’t even get me started on paragraph breaks. Grrrrr. Writing for social media definitely affords permission to bend the rules however it does not give you free license to completely ignore the fundamentals of spelling and grammar altogether – especially if you’re using Instagram for business purposes.

If writing isn’t your forte, a grammatical assistant, such as Grammarly, will ensure that your “you’re” is applied correctly and that something as simple as a misplaced comma doesn’t disarm your message and leave you virtually vulnerable (see example below).

Similarly, depending on your audience, slang and abbreviations can work on the gram (#YOLO!) as long as they are commonly known. When in doubt, ditch the cool kids’ lingo in favour of effectively communicating your key message, ok Bae?

What’s Not? Instagram behaviours we could do without

There are certain behaviours on Instagram that are driving users wild (and not in a good way). If you are guilty of any of the following Instagram etiquette no-no’s, it may be time to re-evaluate your social strategy. The following Instagram practices, though common, are most certainly NOT hot:

Following then unfollowing

Yuck! Fluctuating follower numbers are the virtual fly in every Instagram user’s ointment. While it is totally normal for some users to unfollow you, large daily fluctuations are typically due the follow-unfollow method whereby accounts follow a number of other users (with the objective of getting them to follow back) and then unfollow after a set period of time.

Third-party applications (“bots”) are commonly used to seek out and follow other users via hashtags or location.

Accounts who employ follow-unfollow tactics are doing themselves a huge disservice. This annoying behaviour not only risks their reputation but also their account subsistence as Instagram continues to crack down on spammy behaviour and the use of third-party automations.

Ignoring (genuine) comments

In terms of Instagram gripes, being ignored comes a close second to following-unfollowing. As mentioned above, the reason users flock to Instagram is for engagement. Commenting on a post only to be ignored conjures up the same kick-in-the-gut feelings of rejection as being picked last in the playground. I frequently hear complaints about post engagement dropping yet many account holders fail to provide the common courtesy of responding to comments – thereby teaching their followers not to engage with their content.

Talking only about yourself or your products

There’s nothing more boring than the person at the party who only talks about themselves #yawn.Instead, put yourself in your follower’s shoes: What are they interested in? How can you provide real value, instead of simply pitching yourself or your product?  Understanding who your ideal customer or client is; their wants, needs and struggles will help you to create valuable content that keeps them coming back for more.

Obsessing over followers

Spending all your time online trying to entice new followers at the expense of ignoring your existing ones does not a sound social strategy make. Yes, followers matter, to a certain extent, but focussing all of your efforts on this vanity metric comes at a cost. A smaller engaged audience who love what you do and sing your praises to others is far more valuable than a huge apathetic following who have no idea about you and who don’t engage with your content because you ignore them. Remember, the real value of social media is measured OFF of Instagram – in the leads you generate, the number of people on your mailing list, new clients and sales.

Helping yourself to other people’s images

Newsflash: Instagram isn’t a stock library for your personal use.Instagram’s Community Guidelines clearly state “Share only photos and videos that you’ve taken or have the right to share.”

As well as being a serious etiquette no-no, using someone’s image without their permission may breach their image copyright therefore it is prudent to gain written permission before proceeding to share anyone else’s content.

If permission is granted, do not crop, filter or distort the image in any way. Be sure to tag the image owner in the photo AND in the post caption plus the photographer, any featured products or other accounts involved in the image creation (ask for a list relevant accounts to tag when you seek permission). This will ensure that you cover all bases and that everyone receives the recognition they deserve.

Blaming the algorithm for poor performance

I recently saw a business owner post in a Facebook group that she believed that the algorithm was “punishing her” because her Instagram engagement had dropped. The algorithm is, in fact, designed to help. By creating a better user experience, it ensures that users (i.e. your potential customers and clients) keep coming back to the platform and spend as much time here as possible, thereby increasing your chances of being found.

Hard truth: There are a number of factors that impact post performance and visibility including the quality of your content. It’s not Instagram’s fault if people don’t like what you’re putting out there. Instead of complaining, put on your big gal pants and review, regroup and revise what you’re sharing if it isn’t working for you.

Trying to trick the algorithm

Instagram is smart. Gaming the system by posting “This is a test” memes or participating in comment pods to garner engagement may result in a short-term win at best. Stop trying to trick the algorithm and focus instead of developing a solid content and engagement strategy instead. This will yield far more effective results in the long run and is far less annoying #justsaying.

Tagging other users completely unrelated to your post

Speaking of annoying, the fastest way to lose friends and credibility is by tagging 20 unrelated accounts in your post. This another example of gaming the system.

Engagement bots 

Accounts that utilise auto-commenting bots are more transparent than Kendall Jenner’s red carpet looks #freethenipple. As well as being prohibited by Instagram’s terms of use, auto-comments do absolutely nothing to endear you or your brand to other users as most often the comments are completely misaligned with the content. I recently heard one absolutely shocking story of an automatic comment of “cute” appearing on a heartbreaking post about miscarriage. You can guess what kind of response that user received.

Personally, I immediately block all accounts using bots to post disingenuous comments on my posts because (1) They aren’t seeing my content anyway and (2) Spammy behaviour begets more spammy behaviour

#using #hashtags #for #random #words

As well as negatively impacting your caption’s readability, random hashtags are a magnet for 3rd party follow-unfollow and auto-commenting bots. Instead, use targeted hashtags that your ideal customer or client is likely to be searching for and engaging with.

Trolling

Online bullying of any kind is not cool. End of story. If you don’t have something nice to say, scroll on Susan!

The Way Forward

After reading this you could be forgiven for thinking that Instagram is a hub for narcistic trolls who spend their days spamming accounts, pilfering content and demanding freebies however, it’s not all doom and gloom. The fact that the number of Instagram users has been steadily climbing year on year is testament to the unlimited potential this platform has to #sparkjoy and enhance our personal and professional lives.

Adhering to a few simple manners and choosing to engage in a genuine manner will create a better user experience for all. Remember that behind every handle is a real person, with real feelings and interests beyond what you’re selling. By proceeding with empathy, behaving like a decent human and creating true value (with a sprinkle of kindness) we can ensure that Instagram remains our favourite platform… until something better comes along!

About Kryshla 

Kryshla Salaris is the founder of Shall We Social and a social media coach who specialises in helping savvy business owners nail their Instagram strategy. Kryshla’s aim is to make Instagram fun and remove those icky feelings ofoverwhelm by breaking online marketing down into simple easy-to-apply tactics that can be implemented by even the busiest business boss. Visit the Shall We Social blog for tips, tools and techniques to supercharge your socials and get your free Instagram Engagement Plan here. You can also connect with Kryshla on Instagram and Facebook.

Do you control your mindset – or does it control you?

| All Posts, Mindset Tips

Managing your mindset is the most important thing. If you don’t manage it, you leave your thoughts up to chance – and, chances are, negative thoughts will start to creep in.

Think of it as like putting healthy food into your body. When you nourish your body with nutritious food, you feel energised and ready to tackle anything. If you eat too many unhealthy foods, you feel sluggish and unwell.

It’s the same with your mindset. If you don’t nurture it and keep it in check, everything can seem too hard, and you struggle to reach your goals.

Call out that inner critic

Melissa came to me because she was concerned about her confidence. When we unpacked this concern, we discovered the real issue was her inner critic.

Melissa struggled with the imposter syndrome. It drove her thoughts, telling her she wasn’t good enough, she wasn’t up to it, he was going to make a mistake, she was going to fail, she wasn’t going to get the promotion… the list went on.

Her poor brain was so full of these hurtful comments that we needed to do something to turn her mindset around.

Fact or fiction?

Melissa and I worked hard to identify the negative thoughts as they came to her. We captured them and inspected them. As soon as a negative thought landed in her brain, she would take a moment to pause and check in to see whether the thought had any factual relevance. She would thoroughly inspect it to see if it was fact or fiction.

During this process, Melissa asked herself some questions. These are simple questions you can ask yourself, too, to make sure your negative voice isn’t the only voice you hear:

  • Is what I’m thinking factual?
  • Where is the evidence?
  • How do I objectively know I am a failure in this or that I don’t have what it takes to complete this task?

Once you’ve asked yourself these questions, you can work out whether that negative voice is based in reality. I think you’ll find that most of the time, it’s not.

Reframe your brain

Now you know there’s no evidence to support your negative voice, you can reframe your brain. Yes, you can change your negative inner commentary so it is helpful!

For instance, if you’re about to take on a job or task you haven’t performed before, and your critical voice tells you that you can’t do it, ask yourself, “Why can’t I do it? Where are the facts?”  

This allows you to reframe that inner voice: “I’m learning something new; therefore, it’s not about not being able to do it – I just haven’t been given the chance yet. There’s no evidence to say I can’t do it. In fact, there’s every chance I will succeed.”

It’s a daily process

Overcoming the imposter syndrome is not always easy. It’s something many of us face and must work on daily. Unfortunately, for women, it’s there in the background all the time. It seems to be a little kinder to men – or perhaps they don’t pay quite as much attention to it as women.

One thing for sure is that we must all consciously and continuously work on managing our mindset. I like to think that mindset, mojo and motivation go together. When all three elements are aligned, success is imminent.

I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.

Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.

Em x