Managing your mindset is the most important thing. If you don’t manage it, you leave your thoughts up to chance – and, chances are, negative thoughts will start to creep in.
Think of it as like putting healthy food into your body. When you nourish your body with nutritious food, you feel energised and ready to tackle anything. If you eat too many unhealthy foods, you feel sluggish and unwell.
It’s the same with your mindset. If you don’t nurture it and keep it in check, everything can seem too hard, and you struggle to reach your goals.
Call out that inner critic
Melissa came to me because she was concerned about her confidence. When we unpacked this concern, we discovered the real issue was her inner critic.
Melissa struggled with the imposter syndrome. It drove her thoughts, telling her she wasn’t good enough, she wasn’t up to it, he was going to make a mistake, she was going to fail, she wasn’t going to get the promotion… the list went on.
Her poor brain was so full of these hurtful comments that we needed to do something to turn her mindset around.
Fact or fiction?
Melissa and I worked hard to identify the negative thoughts as they came to her. We captured them and inspected them. As soon as a negative thought landed in her brain, she would take a moment to pause and check in to see whether the thought had any factual relevance. She would thoroughly inspect it to see if it was fact or fiction.
During this process, Melissa asked herself some questions. These are simple questions you can ask yourself, too, to make sure your negative voice isn’t the only voice you hear:
- Is what I’m thinking factual?
- Where is the evidence?
- How do I objectively know I am a failure in this or that I don’t have what it takes to complete this task?
Once you’ve asked yourself these questions, you can work out whether that negative voice is based in reality. I think you’ll find that most of the time, it’s not.
Reframe your brain
Now you know
there’s no evidence to support your negative voice, you can reframe your brain.
Yes, you can change your negative inner commentary so it is helpful!
For instance, if you’re about to take on a job or task you haven’t performed before, and your critical voice tells you that you can’t do it, ask yourself, “Why can’t I do it? Where are the facts?”
This allows you to reframe that inner voice: “I’m learning something new; therefore, it’s not about not being able to do it – I just haven’t been given the chance yet. There’s no evidence to say I can’t do it. In fact, there’s every chance I will succeed.”
It’s a daily process
Overcoming the imposter syndrome is not always easy. It’s something many of us face and must work on daily. Unfortunately, for women, it’s there in the background all the time. It seems to be a little kinder to men – or perhaps they don’t pay quite as much attention to it as women.
One thing for sure is that we must all consciously and continuously work on managing our mindset. I like to think that mindset, mojo and motivation go together. When all three elements are aligned, success is imminent.
I’m Emma, and I’m a business and executive coach who believes wholeheartedly in the potential of women. My coaching philosophy is simple- taking action leads to results- and I love working with women in business and in corporate roles to take their passion and drive and transform their professional and personal lives.
Be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic, every day.