I ran a workshop on “who’s in your circle”, it was a useful workshop, it had reliable evidence behind it, and some research from the likes of Jim Collins and Janine Garner. The session was thought-provoking and challenging. We talked specifically about two things; who the participants had in their circle and who they needed in their circle. It had everyone thinking, which made me think, how many people do not think about who is in their space?

Have you heard of the saying “the five people you hang out with, you become like”? So, are you hanging out with the right people?

There are many of us, just surviving through the day, doing the juggle in one way or another; children, older parents, family, marriages, you name it. I hear the groans in the room when I ask the question – it’s another thing to “do”.

Here’s the thing though, if you don’t take the time to think about who is in your circle, there can be implications. You don’t get that promotion you want; you don’t get that new job you think you should have because your results are so good (unfortunately results alone don’t speak for themselves, but that’s another blog), your business doesn’t thrive.  

So, how do you take stock of who is in your circle to make sure it works for you? I would start this process by:

  1. Analysing your current circle;
  2. Looking at who is in your existing network;
  3. Understanding where the gaps are;
  4. Deciding on what you are prepared to give;
  5. Getting a move on

Analyse your current circle: Before you can go and start building your circle, you need to work out who you have in your circle, click here for a downloadable and some instructions.

Look at who is in your current network and make some choices about if they should stay or if they should go. In Janine’s book, she also references the 12 types of people who you do NOT want in your network (think saboteur and back-stabber), and so you will need to make some choices on the best people to have in your network for the goal you want to achieve. Do you need someone who will kick you in the butt, cheer you on, educate you about something? This will mean making some difficult choices to step back from some relationships while you lean into others.

Understand the gaps: You may have people in your circle who have always been there; you may have people who are very new to your circle. You may have only men; you may have only women. Have a deep dive at your list and work out who knows each other, who doesn’t, do you have enough? Is it a diverse mix of opinions that will help you grow?

Deciding on what you are prepared to give: Give first ALWAYS, choose how you will show up, prepare and make it mutually beneficial, this will be different for each person. I can’t stand the vague “can I pick your brain”, what I do love though is when someone reaches out and is specific about a need they have, they have thought about it and have some well-considered questions.

Get moving: sometimes it can all feel overwhelming, so you need to keep moving and make sure that you stay focused on who you need for right now.

We could call it “luck” that we have a great circle, but I can say for sure that there is no such thing as luck when cultivating this circle, it’s all about concerted effort, being clear on what you need and continuing to provide value to those around you.

I would love to hear how you go!